Geti Your Yeti A Neti Pot

After suffering countless days with the streptocockovirus and demolishing the better part of a box of Kleenex, I lamented to the right person. My friend suggested something that I heard as a "nutty pot" by U-station tubes being swelled with mucus but was actually a "neti pot" once googled and in my possession.

Well, this thing looks like a genie's lantern and comes with salt packets to be dissolved in luke-warm water and then poured into the superior nostril of one's tilted head. The solution drains out the inferior nostril. Once empty you blow your nose, fill up the pot again and repeat by tilting the head the other way.

This is an instance in which you try to drown yourself standing up in your bathroom. If you think to yourself "I am one Gucci dress shy of stealing Mr. Pitt from Angie," well, then get yourself this apparatus and knock yourself down a few notches. You basically are electing to have snot cascade from the most prominent mucus-membrane of your body. It's not logical. It could be the moment you've been dreading...you know taking yourself to almost the near end of existence for wellness.

But it opens the third eye. As luck would have it! And my third eye has been kind of itchy lately.

And now I see. But more importantly, I breathe. And they are not mutually exclusive. You must breathe to be able to see and what good is breathing if your can't see properly. Metaphorically, that be.

I'd recommend it. Highly. I'm stellar now and plan to be this way for awhile. Unless my sister has me killed to collect my life insurance, I'm not surrendering to the streptocock. Ever!

Did I mention my sister is my beneficiary? And she knows thugs. I'm just saying. Keep that bee in your bonnet. Keep me in your prayers.

I've willed my neti-pot to my friend Kellen. He'd never kill me even though he's already threatened to.

God Bless! God Blesses the Yeti Neti's!