Monday, October 22, 2007

What This All Means

I have heard that it doesn't pay to be just a little special. But I disagree.

Things that have come and gone in my life that I consider "a little special" probably made people millions of dollars and/or caused people revelry or heartache. And maybe these things, places, or people are still out there...doing it (i.e. being a little special) and we (you and I) don't pay attention until some Japanese artist silkscreens it (the little bit of specialness) on a t-shirt or purse. And so I start with one of the little special things that has already reared its head three times in this paragraph.

The parentheses.

A creative writing teacher (a poet) once told me that parenthetical clauses or phrases are now only to attribute information to an outside source. I was so pissed off. Those little guys can make a sentence run-on to a beautiful infinity, to an indecisive continuum, to something else that doesn't make too much sense. You don't see them all that often, but I think they are nice.

Whoever made this decision to forsake the parentheses in such an analytical way sucks? Just look at the following magic:

Billy didn't mean to say what was always on his mind (he did however), and this troubled (and often got him into trouble) him mostly when he had to talk about his preferences (for he had many) and if anyone really knows a middle child, they know a middle child can't think for themselves (or they do think for themselves too much) and therefore have no preferences (when in fact Billy really did) along the lines of favorite season, beverage, type of song, morning or night, pencil or pen.

*You could use commas but commas clutter. You could do without the parenthetical information, but it is sparkly, huh? I like sparkliness.

I am just saying that parentheses are a little special to me. Ultra valuable in mathematics and emoticons. Give them a little more glory. Elevate to a bunch special. They deserve it.

For next time: Wallet Chains and/or back pocket hankie

I will also take suggestions on things you think are "a little special" and reflect on them. Please feel free to indulge me.