It isn't a disaster unless you've said "Oh No"

And I do. About 250 times a day, I say "Oh no!"

Sam, you'll never guess what I did last night. I got sick off of Pizza Hut pizza.

Samantha, the printer isn't printing.

Hey, did you know that all these mail boxes are empty?

Have you ever laughed until you almost shit?

How can you ever get upset if you don't vote?

Would you ever consider having a cigarette with us?

That guy in the business office is gay.

I didn't sleep at all last night.

My mother wants me to go to church.

Sami, I'm going to miss Dancing with the Stars tonight.

Did you just yawn?

I couldn't get over it. It says it right there. Carnie Wilson gained it all back.

Samantha, I'm like a size twelve now.

...and the list goes on.

I even gasp. It's sick. You gotta be there.

**I heart you, Kelly!**