Honesty

Honestly, I dig honesty. And I'm gonna be honest and say how sorry I am for my disjointed and ill-edited blogging. I'm truly an idiot and to be honest, perfectly, not that sorry.

BUT today, at the job, a woman calls and says, "They giving out gas cards today?" To which I responed, "I can not answer that question." "Well," she says, "It's about 2:30. General Hospital is over at three...I'll be over after three." So she sits home watching soap operas, comes into this nonprofit to collect free shit, and out of her pocket falls a pack of Salem cigs. And I'm like amazed.

And appeased that her unabashed way of stealing from the taxpayers and other more deserving needy people is sooooo honest. It's like she doesn't give a damn. She doesn't work, her kids go to daycare which gets paid for by the government, she gets free gas, internet, and food AND all she has to do is pretend to be looking for a job. PRETEND.

And now you all think I'm an asshole. But I am not.

A lady walked in. Didn't speak English. Wanted to sign her kids up for Toys for Tots, but we had locked the doors and I didn't have a key. I got into my car and as I drove to my house I see her walking, in the cold, past a bus stop. And I cried the rest of the way home. Or to the liquor store, actually. And the Liquor Master (it's what I called the cashiers at the liquor store) thought I was coked out from the look of my red puffy eyes.

I should've hunted her down, given her a ride, bought toys instead of merlot. And while it is my job as a christian to do so, it is not my job to be the little semblance of justice in her life when behind her back government is handing stuff out to people that just don't make sense.

HONESTY is a little special. I guess.